One of the Last....

I know may be one of the last to jump onto the MP3 player market. Every where I go, I see people with “ear buds” stuck inside their heads. It took me awhile to remember to wave my arms or shout when I needed to communicate with a young staffer at Holden. Everyone was tuned in and sharing things on their “players”. (Not everyone has an IPod)

Art is up at Holden for Work week and so I am using this extra time to do a few things that I had put off. One of my tasks was to set up a friend’s MP3 player for her. She knew that if I got it ready to go for her and taught her to use it, that she would be spared the pain of reading the manuals.

These past couple of weeks have been a struggle for me at home. The “welcome back” charm of working again has worn off and I am struggling with thoughts of “what do I want to do when I grow up”. Planning and preparing for our time at Holden kept my daydreaming focused for a long time, but here I am at home and beginning to wonder. I have always wanted to work at the zoo, do you think it is too late for me?

Anyway, I decided to go to the Holden Audio Archive site and download a few of the worship services and a session or two. The archive is well done and doing keyword search for "matins" or "vespers" will bring up many of the services. (Please create an account and login for these links to work for you.) I do need to thank Carole Young for listening to my need to have these available from home. She and her staff put many wonderful memories up in the audio archives.

It is the music that I miss the most about Holden. There was not one hour that you did not hear someone playing, practicing or performing some song or hymn. Music soared over the snow, through the cold, in the dark and filled with me with song.

I loaded a few things on the player and went out the door with the dog for a walk. I almost started to cry as I heard people I loved in the services that meant so much to me. There was Andrew chanting the Sunday morning matins service and Dylan doing Holden Evening Prayer. I sang right along with everything. (Sorry to anyone who heard me) I found my thoughts turn from sadness to joy and comfort. I loved my walk and came home knowing that I too will soon be the owner of a MP3 player. Any suggestions for one?

A Veggie Sandwich and a Diet Coke

The Ellensburg Film Festival was something that Art and I really wanted to attend now that we are back in home. Each fall, several films are chosen for local showing. While we did not have a lot of time we did manage to work in two movies. One of these, “Back to the Garden” caught our eye because we were sure that we knew who might be in the movie. This movie follows a group of people at a 1988 “Healing Feast” near here in Tonaskat. Tomiinson had attended, interviewed and filmed many of the people attending and then found them again 20 years later. Tonaskat the home of the “Barter Fair” and many Holden people are regular attendees. While only one person caught my eye, a young girl from Holden, the film’s director, Kevin Tomlinson and a few of the cast were actually at today’s showing of the film.

I won’t go into much detail about the film except to encourage you to see it. The film did a good job of looking at all sides of the freer “hippy lifestyle”. As I left the theatre, I felt torn between the two parts of who I am; the Holden part and the more professional Ellensburg half. This movie displayed the crux of my feelings on the two parts of my life. I love both my Ellensburg and Holden life for many things, but each brings with it many things that I would like to avoid.

How can I manage the two parts of me; the one drawn to a more open, freer lifestyle and the one that enjoys a job, a house and other trappings? Income, taxes, and bills all follow me now. I enjoyed the freedom that our year at Holden gave us. I want the good of both, am I selfish? How do you deal with these issues?

Here is what I did, I took my veggie sandwich and a diet coke to work with me today for lunch. I have the best of both worlds.